Self Discovery

What is identity? It is something only he or she can fully define. It is one’s personal qualities. It’s impossible for anyone to understand me completely because nobody has experienced the things I have. My identity is something only I can define. So who am I?

As you can see I am of the Hispanic race. I am Mexican American. I am a city girl born and raised in the city of L.A. I am short, have black hair, and brown eyes. This is the obvious side of me, everyone can tell by just looking at me. Yes this is who I am in the physical area but that doesn’t make up who I really am.

When it comes to characteristics, I am an introverted, friendly, and highly moody person. Ever since I can remember I’ve been on the timid side. I recall that in middle school and high school we would constantly speak in front of the class. I hated speaking in front of the entire class but what choice did I have? When my name was called and it was my turn to go up I would get red all over my face. I thought everyone would make fun of me if I made a mistake or stuttered. Sometimes I felt like crying and running out of there but of course I held it in to safe myself the embarrassment. Besides that I’m a calm and subtle girl. I’m friendly towards others. I don’t like being rude because I was always taught to be polite and have proper manners. On the other hand, I am very moody. Although it may not seem like it I can throw loud and huge tantrums. I have a bit of a bad temper at times but that’s how I am and although I try to control it, it’s very difficult. These adjectives surely describe me accurately, but they are only abstract versions of me.

One the deeper side I am a girl with hopes, dreams and also doubts. I have all these hopes and dreams for the future but on the other hand doubts of not making it. My future goals are to graduate from college, get into graduate school, and have a well paid high quality job. I want a successful career, doing something that I love, although I don’t know quite yet what I want to do. I guess you can say I want to be well off. I am very ambitious and want to aim only for the best. I know it’s probably too much to ask but who knows it could happen.

I am a teenage girl scared of what may come in the future and the obstacles life has for me. I know many things are coming my way and not knowing makes me nervous. I sometimes wish to live in a world where everything stays frozen, where nothing changes. This way, I can never grow up to be an adult and deal with so many transformations. When I was younger I thought my life was perfect, everything was how it would always be. I had a big happy family. Little did I know that all that was about too change. Unfortunately my parents got divorced, something which I thought would never happen. Since then I knew things would change and nothing would be the same again. I am fearful living in this complex world of adulthood but I have to accept the responsibilities and consequences that come with growing up, to avoid the pain of maturing. I can honestly say that change is difficult and I learned that the hard way.

“Life is a pursuit to find one’s true identity.” I believe that all throughout my life I will keep discovering who I truly am. My identity makes me different from every other individual. It’s what sets me apart from everyone else.